The Illbilly Clan's topics - tribe.net

FREE ILLBILLY SITCKERS AND BUTTONS

2008-08-24T01:32:49Z

Send a self addressed, stamped envelope along with a note saying that that you want some free shit.

1300 Rhode Island Street
San Francisco, CA 94107

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 2 replies

Jelly Donut @ the Rickshaw 3/16

2007-03-18T21:40:22Z

A video, for your viewing pleasures: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj5ssnGaYGk

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 0 replies

san fran moments

2007-01-27T00:52:42Z

every once in a while i witness something so uniquely san fran, that it makes me feel truly at home in this city. you know, like when you get off the bart in the morning and a dozen of your fellow commuters all greet frank "12 galaxies" chu by name.

last night, when mezzanine was filled with fervent chants of "JELLYJELLYJELLYJELLY," i honestly got a bit teary-eyed.

where's the footage, lads?

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 10 replies

illbilly film! (not a porno)

2006-04-16T09:05:51Z

homies of illbilly... what up!

it's been a long time since we've seen many of you, and i'm sure you're wondering what distant mountain in asia kenny is sitting atop, reading the tao de wang, and what tedious office job has swallowed andrew for the rest of his miserable life. funk dat! offices hate andrew and kenny can’t read.

truth be told, we've been working our asses off on our BIGGEST and STUPIDEST project yet... Evolution: the Musical! that's right, we're putting all our energy into this thing and setting our sights on sundance 2007.

it's been a blast to work on and we have the most incredible cast, crew, and creative team ever assembled in the history of bipeds (yes that includes the T-rex).

so that's the update. what's that? YOU want to help US? hmm... i hadn't thought of that. well, off the top of my head, i guess there are a couple things that could help this project be even more kickass:

1) AN OUTDOOR FOREST LOCATION NEAR SAN FRANCISCO. we are planning to film a number of scenes in a forest area on May 11th, 12th, 13th, 14th, 28th & 29th. many of these would be evening/late night shoots. we are scouting locations without many buildings around, although our ideal location would be close to someone's house for use of power and bathroom. ideally, the spot would be within 45 minutes of the san francisco. we will discuss compensation, trade, etc. with anyone who may want to host us for these intense and fun shoots. the host will get a credit in the film, a dvd copy, and our undying gratitude. hit up Andrew with any contacts and we'll go from there. 415.299.1167 or andrew@illbilly.com.

2) PEOPLE WHO SEW AND GENERAL CRAFT FOLKS. we need seamsters of any skill level to assist with the creation of costumes ASAP. we need help in cutting patterns, pinning, and sewing garments. you are welcome to work in our work space and on our machines, or can work from your space if you prefer. we also need people who can make legwarmers, mittens and other accessories. any level of contribution welcome. you will receive a credit in the film and a DVD copy upon completion. interested parties should contact Sig at sig@hafstrom.net.

3) A SOUND MIXER. we are seeking an experienced sound mixer for on location sound recording. in addition to compensation, they will receive a credit in the film and a DVD copy upon completion. we would prefer someone with their own equipment including a boom microphone and wireless lavaliere. this would be for 12 days in May. anyone interested should contact Doug at dugitty@yahoo.com.

4) MAKE-UP ARTISTS/HAIR STYLISTS. film experience is a big plus. we need people that can commit to at least 3 of the following dates: May 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 11th, 12th, 13th, 14th, 26th, 27th, 28th and 29th. we could use at least 3 people. there will be a small amount of compensation and everyone will receive a credit in the film and a DVD copy upon completion. anyone interested should contact Sig at sig@hafstrom.net.

5) INVESTORS. it takes a village to raise a child... and hella moolah to make a film. we are currently looking for investors interested in helping us make this dream a reality. we'll be honest with you, a 25 minute musical comedy about evolution is not likely to make a huge return. but having said that, this film is going to kick ass. if you have interest in being a part of the film world, you won’t regret having your name in the credits of this unique production. email or call Andrew at andrew@illbilly.com or 415.299.1167.

$100 gets your name in the credits, each $250 after that gets you 1% of the gross profits of the film. it’s kind of like buying a lottery ticket, but you don’t have to scratch us unless you want to.

if you already know you want to contribute, please make your check to Andrew Bancroft and send it to:

111 Central Avenue
San Francisco, CA 94117

we’ll make sure to show you love.

6) OTHER RANDOM STUFF. okay, so you can’t even afford sour cream for your burrito, much less to invest in a movie. and you don’t sew, mix sound, paint faces or know anyone who has a cabin in Marin. well, we still have a long list of items that we need to gather. this list will give you some insight into how fun this shoot is going to be. if you have one of these items and want to contribute, please contact Sig at sig@hafstrom.net.

WE NEED:

A) MAKE-UP SUPPLIES AND FACE PAINT (particularly dark pencils, earthy shadows, foundation, powder, etc)
B) LARGE ANIMAL BONES
C) BIBLES
D) A ROCKING CHAIR
E) AN ANTIQUE CLOCK THAT WORKS
F) A BABY BIB THAT WE COULD MAKE FIT AROUND AN ADULT NECK
G) AN S&M STYLE WHIP (no, Andrew doesn’t own this item)
H) A SWEET WALKING STICK
I) A STAFF OR SCEPTER
J) PRIMITVE WEAPONS
K) HOLY CROSSES
L) FOAM/STYROFOAM
M) WOMEN’S PANTIES
N) FAKE BLING BLING (gold chains, huge gold rings, etc.)
O) A LIVE HAMSTER (no harm will come to it)
P) PITCHFORKS
Q) SHOVELS
R) A LARGE GENERATOR FOR LOCATION SHOOTING
S) A JESUS WIG

whether you help us in this production or not, we want you to know how awesome it's been to have community support in SF from day one. you've made true celebrations of popcorn anti-theater, late night with god, lord of the drinks, jelly d and all of our silly endeavors. we hope you are loving life.

all mushy n' shit,
andrew and kenny

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 0 replies

EVOLUTION!

2006-04-10T19:22:31Z

greetings, friends. as you've probably heard, there's this film thing the illbillies are making called evolution: the musical. its soooo funny, believe me. i know, because i'm working on it, too. anyway, we need more help in a few departments, and that's where you come in.

location: we're looking for a spot in a forest (or mostly tree filled area) within 45 minutes of the bay area, preferably close to electricity and running water. this also has to be a place where its legal for us to film, and the cops won't come arrest us halfway through the shoot.

crafty sewing types: we've got a lot of costumes to be made, and very few people actually making them. we need help cutting, pinning and sewing costumes. even if you're only remotely interested, please drop me a line.

thanks, gang.

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 0 replies

kenny and the subconscious

2006-01-22T19:29:08Z

dearest friends,

the last two nights in a row i've had weird dreams about our pal kenny taylor.

saturday night, i dreamt i was really, really loaded and kenny was giving me a hug to chill me out. okay, so that's not weird at all; in fact, it might actually even happen some day.

last night, though, i had this dream there was this big fish, and it was dead. i thought it was taxidermied, because it was in a glass display box. but then kenny tried to take it out of the box, and all its guts came out its mouth, and its guts were still all wet and squiggly, and also they were very strange shapes. furthermore, there were two live crabs living in this dead fish's intestines, and its intestines didn't even look like intestines anyway, they were more like, well, forget it, i'm not even going to try to describe it. but anyway, kenny was very apologetic for spilling the fish's guts out its mouth. he said it was an accident.

what the fuck is that supposed to mean? should i be freaked?

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 8 replies

Worse than the bird flu?

2006-01-19T22:13:46Z

SAN FRANCISCO, CA (AP) - Bay Area doctors expressed awe this week after making the discovery that the illbilly boys are “only getting ill-er”. The news came in the form of more press for Jelly Donut (http://www.gelfmagazine.com/mt/archives/jelly_d_takes_it.html), and again during Monday’s speech by Al Gore when the former Vice-President announced that Kenny and Andrew will be hosting the Sean Hayes CD release show (details below). The medical community reminds the public that although illbilly is highly contagious, Snoop Doggy Dogg is still the "illest". In a related story, Harvard psychologists have concluded that anyone who misses Sean’s CD release is 100% coo coo crazy.

Sean Hayes CD Release
Saturday, January 28
Great American Music Hall
http://www.musichallsf.com/
Doors at 8, show at 9
$14

Details and ticket info at:
http://www.musichallsf.com/artist_pages/sean_hayes_012806.htm

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 2 replies

Oh shit. More pastries in the news. Jesus must be on a sugar bender.

2006-01-19T06:36:45Z

http://tinyurl.com/bmykl

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 0 replies

Jelly D -watch your back!

2005-12-24T23:35:55Z

And they're eatin' patisseries in this vid too!
Aww shit.

http://youtube.com/watch.php?v=zLElfJ9YCh0

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 0 replies

And a little local press...

2005-12-16T06:55:43Z

Our show this Sunday is in the SF Weekly:

http://listings.sfweekly.com/gyrobase/events/results2?date=2005-12-18

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 1 reply

Can't stop the donut...

2005-12-15T09:06:05Z

Jelly D showed up again on:

http://www.fazed.net/

http://badatsports.libsyn.com/

http://www.needcoffee.com/updates/2005/12/11/he-comes-by-the-dozen/

www.jungle-life.com/item/54/catid/7+%22jelly+donut%22+illbilly&hl=en&client=firefox-a

And about a billion other blogs apparently, including a bunch in Germany. Who knew.?

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 0 replies

The donut is blowing up...

2005-12-15T08:51:04Z

Jelly Donut just made the front page of boingboing.net, under the heading "Video: rapper dressed like a jelly donut kicking ass"

If you missed Andrew dressed up in a jelly donut costume, at a freestyle rap contest in oakland, taking out six MCs in a row with his sweet and phatty rhymes, check it:

http://boingboing.net/

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 3 replies

Tourettes Without Regrets! - Dec. 1st

2005-12-01T12:58:40Z

howdy friends!

just a quick note that we illbilly boyz are headlining at this thursday's "tourettes without regrets" in oaktown.

8:30pm
The Oakland Metro
201 Broadway @ 2nd St.
Jack London Square
All Ages * Full Bar $7-10 ($5 if you say illbilly!)

i don't want to give our act away, so i'll just throw out a couple descriptive words: green. red. christmasy. dirty. wrong. other than that, the show will have phat freestyling and dope poetrizing. say "illbilly" at the door to get in for just $5 (but don't try that trick at T.G.I.Fridays... we're not allowed in there anymore). hope to see you soon!

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 1 reply

COME PAY HOMAGE TO THE LORD ONE LAST TIME...

2005-09-25T06:10:48Z

Death to LORD OF THE DRINKS! Noooo!

The dark angel descends. After four years of drunken debauchery, the Lord's liver is finally shot. But before we spread his ashes over the bar, he's going down in a blaze of glory...

Death to LORD OF THE DRINKS!
(yes, the final LOTD ever!)

The Illbilly Rhodehouse
1300 Rhode Island St. (@ 24th St.)
San Francisco
This Friday, Sept. 23rd
Doors at 8:30, Movie at 9

$5 gets you in. Another $10 gets you all the beer you can drink.

The Lord won't go quietly. Awards for:
-best dance performance!
-sluttiest behavior!
-drunkest buffoon!

Plus, free popcorn all night. If you’re not into that, you’re a freedom hater.

Ummm... this is gonna be f-ed up.

illbilly.com

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 3 replies

THE 48 HOUR FILM PROJECT

2005-08-10T07:55:53Z

The 48 hour film project requires teams to write, shoot and edit a film in 2 days. More info at:

http://www.48hourfilm.com/

This summer, Kenny teamed up with FreeDirt Media.

Our genre was Sci-Fi. Our requirements were a "Dried Up Pen" as a prop, "Nurse R. Ramsey" as a character, and "I'm craving something salty" as a line of dialogue. What we made was SALT QUEST. You can download it at:

http://www.freedirtmedia.com/media/saltquestmovie.mp4

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 2 replies

Jelly in Time

2005-08-06T01:39:39Z

Brief and slightly negative, but Jelly Donut is mentioned in Time magazine:

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1088722-3,00.html

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 1 reply

SATAN!

2005-07-13T20:10:01Z

Will be making an appearance at the Berkeley Slam tonight (WEDS the 13th).
Here's the official announcement:

BERZERKELEY SLAM -- Next Slam: EVERY WEDS.
Charles checks in:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
----THIS WEEK: As most of you already know, tonight
is the notorious Bad Poetry Slam. We'll have the
regular slam and prizes, but we'll also be giving
away $40 and a 40 LB BLOCK OF CHEESE to the LOW
score. It's going to be a madhouse!
---Unfortunately, I've had a tough time booking a
feature. Everyone's too chicken or too busy or too
whatever. Poets generally take themselves way too
seriously.
--What to do? I'd run out of options. In a fit of
desperation, I fell to my knees and prayed to the
Prince of Darkness, to the Man's man, to the Sultan
of Sin himself... and he ANSWERED! That's right,
our feature will be none other than SATAN himself!
Reading his own original poetry! You may have seen
him at Tourettes Without Regrets. He's hard to miss
(as you may expect). The bunny ears. The red long
johns. The thick glasses and f**ked up teeth. The
balls. Among his many filthy websites, the best is:
http://www.illbilly.com
--Of course we'll also have live Jazz, cool Irish
beer, and yummy pizza...
----LAST WEEK: We had a full house (nearly 150) and
a full sign-up list, with a fantastic mix of new
and veteran poets. Our guest emcees were Aaron and
Kat (who did a terrific job BTW). Round 1 was a
landscape of triumph and disaster. Stand-out poets
like Cameron The Voice, Rupert Estanislao, and Liz
Green got great scores but were all buried under
massive time penalties. Other great poets, like
Aaron Trumm and Hilary were robbed by fickle judges.
Ah, it's a slam!
---Our features, James and DeWayne, gave us sets of
finely-crafted poetry delivered in a low-key style
where their words and content stood supreme.
--ROUND 2: New slam poet Hannah sacrificed, and 1st
up was Charles. He read an intensely personal piece
off-page in both rounds, and "One Year Wish" was
enough to earn him 3rd. Dawn rocked the high score
of R1, but had to settle for 2nd overall after
debuting a new love poem. Mark States was rocking
the thug 'tude, and finished 5th. Stephen Meads
"Star Wars vs. Hip Hop" wow'ed the judges, and his
Nintendo piece took him to 4th. Tshaka represented
for team SF and (despite a signature memory-lapse
and a time penalty) he rocked "One Poet" to win.
---UPCOMING: July 20: SF's Glamorous Thea Hillman
and Minneapolis' Paul Dosh. July 27: YouthSpeaks'
lyrical champion Raphael & "real" Jamie Kennedy
of Def Jam and Suicide Kings' fame.
----STARRY PLOUGH. 3101 Shattuck. 510-841-2082.
(1 block uphill of Ashby BART). EVERY WEDS.
8:30-11pm. Sign-ups: 7:30. All ages before 9pm.
$90 Cash Prizes. $7 door, $5 students w/I.D.
Hosts: Charles Ellik, Dani Eurynome, Nazelah
Jamison, Karen Ladson. Live Music: 3 Blind Mice.
http://www.berkeleypoetryslam.com
Media Sponsor: http://www.eastbayexpress.com
Yoga Sponsor: http://www.yogamandalastudio.com
Contact: voluptuary@hotmail.com

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 0 replies

uuummmmm

2005-05-10T19:00:01Z

dose anything happen here, where have all the illbillys gone....

kenny whats up dude.

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 1 reply

Jelly D! Way to be!

2005-05-09T11:50:13Z

Okay, so Andrew it was great seeing you at Tourettes, and in all your fruity/flour flava! Was so proud that you got so far in the freestyle battle, but especially when you said your favorite rapper was Jamie's uncle, cuz he ended everything with "I love you". Although that was the battle where you got clowned for looking like Mad Max, and something about a tampax(which made me laugh, cuz i remember a while ago you at the tampon, but i am prolly the only one that read that much into it, dude prolly didn't even know).

And speaking of Mad Max, I looked up at the Thunderdome Saturday, and saw you chilling up top, takin it all in. Wanted to say hi!

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 0 replies

Illbilly infiltrates Zeitgeist...sort of

2005-04-16T17:19:14Z

Haha, I had to borrow Zeitgeist's loaner helmet tonight and I slapped an Illbilly sticker on it!

(I'm cool and I like myself)

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 1 reply

Bwaahh haaaa haaaa!

2005-02-24T12:29:56Z

Okee doke...so, I've never actually clicked on an advertisement to the right of the screen on Tribe...until TONIGHT! There was something about the picture of the rapping Jelly Donut! I just HAD to visit the Illbilly website and ended up watching the movies. They slayed me! They are terribly odd and entertaining.

Oh, how I love Gaaaaaaabriel's attempt at...er..."gracefully" climbing through the bushes in the end of the first one. It went on...and on...and on...and for just a bit more...and more...and more... But all I kept seeing was this bright white ass making different shapes as Gaaaabriel ALMOST disappeared behind the leaves and branches... He didn't quite make it in the end... :( awwwwww... poor little feller...

hooooheeeehheeeehaaaahaaaaahaaaaa.

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 1 reply

Urban Iditerod

2005-02-24T12:21:00Z

I know just what this year's 'Rod needs: A couple of freaks from Illbilly.

Get a shopping cart, boys!

www.urbaniditarod.com

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 1 reply

Scared the begaysus out of me...

2005-01-31T02:27:04Z

Jelly D. Banner ads? You Meeja Whores!

(Though I dare anyone NOT to click on that ball of deep fried lardy goodness)

IllbillyCo?

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 1 reply

awesome.

2005-01-24T18:40:41Z

the sheer awesomeness of this tribe could kill a medium-sized dog. it may be my only tribe, but i think it's safe to say that it is without a doubt the most awesome tribe ever.

oh, "lord of the drinks" at the rhodehouse this friday the 21st. more to come...

posted in The Illbilly Clan - 3 replies